Praise the Lord

I never have actually written or been a witness to the Lord. I mean, I pray to God and we go to church, but I keep it to myself. I don't speak about the Lord, but I do want to let others know how the Lord continued to reach out to me even when I continued to turn away from Him and I continued to do wrong.

When I left my family to come to NY, I got involved with the wrong people. Life in Manhattan involved parties several nights a week. I smoked and inhaled so many drugs. There's so much money and access to drugs was as easy as access to soda or candy. After partying a few months, my body was feeling different. I told myself that I had to stop or at least calm down a bit, but I didn't because my addiction to the high was getting stronger.

One night after partying, I took a cab back to the apartment I shared with two friends. I could hardly see and by the time I got inside, I was puking my brains out. I went into the bathroom and I fell. My head hit the tub and as I continued to fall, I said Lord save me. I don't know if the words came out or if I said them on the inside. The following day I woke up in the hospital with wires hooked up around me. The doctor came and spoke to me about my drug use. I was embarrassed and humiliated. He said the word "drug addict." I didn't hear anything after that word. All I could think is How did I become a drug addict? A DRUG ADDICT.....the words echoed through the room...and through my soul. How could this have happened? How could I let it happen?

After he left the room, again I whispered to God, please save me. I knew I didn't want to be a drug addict, but I also knew the lure of the drugs and my addiction was getting stronger. Later that day, I was released and the first thing I did was quit my job. I couldn't be around those people and I felt that God was leading me away from them. I took several temp jobs and then finally found a permanent position at a new company. I wasn't around the drugs and although I craved them, I continued to pray to God to save me. My family was in Virginia and I had lost contact with them most of that year. I didn't go home for Christmas because I was ashamed of who I became. No one deserved to be related to a drug addict. I didn't want them to see me in the current state.

About four months later, I stepped into St. Patrick's in NYC on May 16, 2004 because I felt God was calling me there. While I sat in the church, I felt God's presence and I knew the drug addiction was over. I am grateful to God for continuing to pursue me while I pursued poison and evil. It's May 16th - Praise God! I try to spend the day in prayer hoping that God will save another drug addict whose just on the verge as I was.